Failure of the Father

Failure of the Father (first draft 7/11/2023)

Back to the grind

is something people say on Monday morning.

Did Adam know, all these years later

that his progeny would be reduced to millstones?

My daughters are asleep

the moon is awake

and the sun hasn't peaked over the horizon yet

and my car, half a tank of gas,

meanders over the landscape

to a building I've given almost all of myself to.

With each hour I grind

I have less and less grain

and my countenance falls

when my wife shows me the numbers.

No property to protect

or cultivate.

In my apartment complex

no one cares if their trash

makes it into the dumpster or not

or if a cockroach scurries 

across the table or not.

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Failure of the Father (first draft 7/11/2023)

First, there is the whole making money thing
food, electricity, housing, clothes, gifts

To do this work has to be done

and it can't just be meaningful work

although that's nice

it has to be work that meets a certain bare minimum.

Being in the midwest close to a big city

that number is 85,000.

So this work has to pay at least 7,083.33 per month

which breaks down to about 44.27 for a 40 hour work week

but most likely you will be working 50 or more hours a week

because you are never paid what you are your service is worth

so more like 35.41 for a 50 hour work week

but if you want to find a job for that amount of money, good luck

unless you were the one person that ignored all of your school teachers

and counselors and decided to become a plumber or electrician

but most likely you are someone who has a massive amount of debt

because you made the terrible decision to go to college

and pay them to learn about things you really care about

philosophy, acting, stage design, theology, poetry

because you liked those things and paid over $120,000

so now when you work you have to also pay off that debt so you need a job

that pays more than what I just described above

but you are underqualified or overqualified for everything 

so you continue to do the job you have.

Then there is also spending time with your children.

Where you talk with them and play with them

and read to them and try to do something special with them.

And your poor wife, she's nearly last

and you need to spend time with her.

And lastly there's this whole God thing

reading scripture and praying.

Maybe trying to do something you enjoy doing 

just for fun?

But, as you can see the system we participate in

makes it nearly impossible to do all of these things well.

I guess that's why so many people say on Monday,

Well, it's back to the grind. Because if you are someone

who wants to be a good person and work hard

you are the one in the mill, be ground out.